The price of oil continues to skyrocket. Prices of food are starting to create problems. It seems our politicians are doing nothing to help us. Let me run a theory past you, a theory as to why I think they appear slothful. Before I do, please allow me to preface this excerpt and say that I do not agree with the positions "I" claim to take below. Below is just an example, and for the sake of argument.

Lets say I'm a politician - Senator, Congressman, whatever - and I have the interests of the American people at heart. As an elected official, I see a couple of problems on our horizon:

Terrorism threatening American lives
Global warming
Our dependence on foreign oil
The outrageous energy prices
And the recently rising food costs
(In this list I won't neglect health care, poverty, education, etc, but will tackle those later)

Let me reitterate: I have the interest of the American public at heart, and I love America. I want to do whatever I can, as an elected politican, to curb the aforementioned threats. One solution that will help out a lot is finding what I like to call the ESB, or the energy silver bullet. We'd kill many birds with this one stone. I'm sure we all agree up to this point.

America has the best rseearchers, scientists and engineers in the world. If anyone is going to find the ESB, it's probably going to be America. But it seems the funding, and the researchers are not going towards finding the ESB. This could be because they are researching other things, like cures for cancer and AIDS (how dare they!), but there are plenty other researchers and funds available, and we need them to be devoted to finding the ESB. I think it is because there is not a high enough profit margin for the research. I understand research is time consuming, and very costly, and for one to embark on such an endeavor would have to require a return worth the initial investment. Thankfully, I as an elected politician, see how I can help make there be profit for research in finding the ESB.

How I can help? I need to help make our current situation as painful as humanly possible. Think about it: how much research for the ESB is going to be done when gasoline is at $1.00/gallon? On the flip side, theres more inclination to further research when gas prices are high and painful.

That is why, I as the elected politian, am against ANWR. That is also why I am against the building of new refineries. I don't want to drill in ANWR, that will lower the cost of oil! Not only does that not get us the ESB, but isn't it our goal to get off of oil?

We can't build new refineries. Hurricane Katrina taught us a lesson about these refineries: if a couple get knocked off line, prices go up because supply is affected. If there were more refineries, supply wouldn't have been affected as much, and prices would have stayed stable. This does not help us find the ESB.

Corn based ethanol is proving to be a joke. It is consuming our corn crops, and is contributing to the increase in food prices. Admitting this, I still favor corn ethanol just for the sole purpose of making food costs more expensive - making it more painful to stay where we presently are, and more lucrative to find the ESB. The best part? People will think I'm in favor of this because I am in bed with environmentalists and special interest groups. This is just a cover for my underlying motive. Corn Ethanol is not the ESB, but it is necessary in helping us find it.

I am against nuclear power. Nuclear power is currently the cheapest, most efficient way to produce electricity - 1/2 the cost of coal. As mentioned earlier, low costs is not what we need right now. Thankfully we have the fear of global warming preventing the construction of new coal plants, our electricity prices will rise as demand continues to increase and the inability to meet this demand is unfulfilled. Maybe once we find the ESB and no longer need to enduce such pain on ourselves will I be in support of new nuclear reactors.

To find the esb, the voice of the people needs to be unified! United we stand, right? We all want to reduce the current pain, but we must find the longterm solution. Standing in our way of finding the longterm solution, the ESB, is the necessary research, funding, scientists, engineers, etc. The American public needs to be in so much pain that we all unify and focus our time and energy to find the ESB. That is why, I, as the elected politician, want to inflict pain onto the american people - to oppose ANWR, nuclear, LNG, and am in favor of corn ethanol and tax increases. Becaues I believe that only through this self inflicted pain will we be able to focus our energy to find the ESB.

Finding the ESB will kill many birds with one stone: we cut emmissions to down, hopefully to zero; we become independent from our enemies; and because America found the ESB, America will continue to be a dominating factor in the world.

I'm sorry to inflict such pain on you, but please understand, this is for your own good.