The sixties were known as a psychedelic period, and in the eighties we had big hair, and were all exercising our little leg warmers off. I think as time goes on, this era will be come known as the antiseptic society.
Long gone are the days when kids could get away with eating a little dirt. Now we see commercials where the kid is partially blind from ringworm contracted from playing in a public sand box. Children are strongly encouraged to sanitize after touching any of the animals in the petting zoo. We are nervous about letting the children go outside at all, there too many mosquitoes and ticks that carry West Nile and Lymes disease. We can’t let them play in the water or public pools either, it contains Giardia or Cryptosporidium.
We are taught to cough into our arm, and in big cities, people wear masks over their mouths when in public because we worry about SARS, the Avian Flu, and Tuberculosis. The University of Illinois sent out an e-mail last week asking that hand shaking be avoided at this time and schools in Texas have been closed for two weeks to deal with a Swine Flu outbreak.
Many people have tattoos and piercings, but all of the equipment is sterilized in an autoclave. I.V. Drug users are also given sterile needles to shoot up with and medical waste boxes to dispose of them in. Every home used to have a broom or two, now we have special anti-dust coagulating Swiffers that deodorize and sterilize on contact. Antibacterial products available for the home number in the thousands. Public restrooms are sporting automatic flushing toilets, sinks that turn on themselves, and dispensers that give you paper towels when you waive your hand.
We are afraid to date and casual sex is taboo again. There are too many S.T.D’s, Hepatitis, and H.I.V. to worry about. Of course, kissing as a general greeting is also being discouraged. We can’t go out to dinner, we have to worry about peanut butter, mushroom, tomato, spinach, alfalfa sprouts, curry and pistachio recalls for Salmonella, E.Coli and Listeria. Taking your date to the movie is not good either. Movies like “The Happening”, “Quarantine”, and “I am Legend” prey on our germicidal fears.
Yesterday I had to take the day off as my daycare was closed to be cleaned and sanitized. I went to the supermarket with the children to do the shopping and used the available wipes to clean the handle on the cart, and a special cleaner for the fruit. I was then visiting a friend in the courthouse when I actually saw a hand sanitizer installed on the wall in a courtroom. Later, when I went to register my car, the D.M.V. was kind enough to supply me with a hand sanitizing station, mounted prominently on a stand at the beginning of the line. From there I could see signs on three separate walls that described in detail how to wash my hands.
I give up, I’m going to put on my plastic gloves and go sit at my computer. Hopefully none of the computer viruses going around are catching…
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