I'm not saying those who dont believe in God is wrong, I'm just telling my story.

I have a depression problem, I'll admit it. In the last week or so, I've had several insidences that were against me and made me mad. I started to become so down, and so many things were happening, I was convinced that God was against me. I was hated my the top dog of them all. I figured if he didn't hate me, that he didn't exsist. I cried and cried. I'll admit I cried as much as I dont want to. I finnally got into the shower late that night and bawled quietly. I gave in and asked him. Talking to him has never dont me any good, and nothing really happens whe nyou ask from it. Except in my possession of Milo... But that was three years of praying. If anyone wishes that badly of something, it should come true for anyone. Anyway, I finnally gave in and asked God why he hated me and why my life was so horrible. Why did I have to have an awsome life and future ahead of me and be so depressed? I should have been happy! Why has he put me in all this pain, all this stress? I honestly try to be a good person, and follow in Jesus's steps of following in the shadow of God. I really do. Why did it have to be who has a loving family and an awsome boyfriend, and awsome friends, why did I have to be depressed? I asked this over and over, saying that he'd forgotten me. Then I did something else. I asked for his pressence in me. I asked for him to guide me and be a light in me. I asked him to the light in my life. I'm not a doubter of God. I wear him aroung my neck and have never taken him off, not for anyone. I pray to him for others, even those who I dont like or dont know. It was now time to pray for myself. I didnt' want to do something stupid and I wanted him to help me along the way. I needed him. Suddenly, I stopped crying, and I felt calm. I cannot explain it other then that. I was calm. I got out of the shower and went to cuddle with my boyfriend. I felt better. i dont think it was the crying, becuase I have a tendency to cry till I'm asleep. I felt so much better. I smiled, and laughed a bit while we watched a show before going to bed. I honestly think I felt him. Its as warm and calming. I was at peace. I beleive it was him.

Thank you my Lord. Lead us the right way, to your kigdom above. Amen.